lovely

A few new pics :)

This was the day we got all the tornado warnings. I like how eery the picture is, but if you look closely towards the middle, you can see the sunrays from the sun trying to shine.

a very pretty flower at my momma's house

gosh! I belong to the cutest set of parents in the world!!

Masquerade Ball 2010

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NOW..... for a few old pictures :)

I was going through my old computer and found tons of pictures. There are SO MANY I wanted to post, but I'd be here all night if I did that! So here's a few that make me smile.

Maybe I'll post more another day..

the day I said "yes" to the love of my life

he surprised me at the airport with a lovely little ring :)

hahaha!!! Puerto Rico mission trip my senior year. I think I'm wearing about 6 necklaces.

Man, I was cool..............

aaahhhh, one of my favorite memories :)

The Fray at the Ryman 2006

and we got our noses pierced.

Our Heart's Hero days!

fall 2005

They were in the studio recording an ep

4th of July 2006

Me and snot nosed Aiden

maybe Thanksgiving 2006?

Erin & Brandon rehearsal dinner

summer 2006

these were the days when Brandon refused to wear anything but Diesel :)

babies!!!!! Just little babies!!

Paramore 2006

Paramore 2006
so young!!!!!!

Me and Hunter summer 2005

LOOK at all that baby fat on my face!!

the very first picture Hunter ever took of me.

summer 2005

my merch days.

May 2006

Look at that ghetto fabulous merch set-up!

Hunter after he bought my ring

December 2006

December 2005

My first trip to Hume

summer 2005

Hunter and Hayden at Hume Lake

whoaaaaa

spring 2005

Brandon's beginnings of photography!

summer 2006

Winter 2006

I had just blown smoke out of the paper part on a coat hanger

I see so much of Kasen in Kevin in this pic :)

same bonfire night as above

this night was so fun

Aiden and Nolan as cute wittle babies

Kasen wasn't even a thought at the time!

Baby Kasen in his Johnny Jump up

love this pic

Hunter's very last show with OHH

Gatlinburg, December 2005

December 2007

Mine and Hunter's very 1st Christmas as the Lambs

If you're thinking I look skinny in this pic, it's because I WAS........

12 pounds lighter than I am now.... dangit.

Aiden- 2, Kasen- maybe 10 mo's?

SO CUTE.

baby Kasen.

He was such a squishy baby.

I hope these have made you smile like I did!

It was so fun going through them :)

I wrote this a couple weeks ago after watching a huge, beautiful house burn down. It's based on listening to some of the neighbors talk about how the home took 2 years to build and the family had only been living there for 6 months. I remember hearing neighbors question why God would allow this.

We stood there right in harm's way

We watched the whole thing go down in flames.

The fire grew high against the black sky.

All we could think was

"Why, God? Why?"

.

We watched her fight for so many years

Though she was a warrior, we wept an ocean of tears.

Finally healed on the day that she died,

all we could ask was

"Why, God? Why?"

.

Little girl, a precious gift

placed in their lives and their souls she did lift.

Gone in an instant and as they raised her body high,

all they could scream was

"Why, God? Why?

.

.

I was coming from a place where I don't think I was blaming God, but trying to understand His ways. It will be a year on November 2 since my pawpaw died. I still lay in bed at night and think about my aunt Vickie. All I really have to say to Him is "God, WHAT were You thinking?" In late September, we had some family friends lose a very special person. His death was beyond tragic and completely unexpected. He left behind his wife and 4 children. What were You thinking, God? Time has and will heal the aches in my heart. This morning I read the following in Jesus Calling:

The best repsonse to losses or thwarted hopes is praise....

Be prepared to let go of anything I take from you, but never let go

of My Hand!

.

.

God has taken and will continue to take precious people in my life. A few weeks ago, I was questioning God "Why?" The hardest thing is to let go of lives/situations lost. For as long as I can remember, I've prayed that the Lord NEVER takes those close to me. I can't comprehend being alive without certain people. So that's why I say it's almost impossible for me to let go- but one thing I do know now is that it is vital to never let go of God's hand. No matter how hard I have to grip.

Pretty Fall colors in Tennessee

I hope everyone is enjoying this season!

I love this picture of my aunt Vickie. Truly beautiful.

Aiden playing some baseball!

My lil sugar doll. He didn't get to play this year :(

Here we go, Nolan!

Sunsets!

Now that's a sunset.

Aunt Vickie

Michael 18, Amy 24, Uncle Kenny, Aunt Vickie, Kari 16.
Pray for these precious people.

My Aunt Vickie was a living example of what it means to clothe yourself in the presence of our Lord Jesus Christ.

She was the most selfless, humble, joyful and beautiful-hearted person I've ever met. I mean that with all my heart. Even in the midst of suffering, she gave God glory.

After battling ovarian cancer since 2006, she is in Heaven, cancer free. And while I force myself to rejoice that she is with her King, I can't deny the pain of knowing she is no longer with us here on earth. I prayed and prayed and prayed "God, heal her." And when He answered our prayers, I wailed in agony, "God, how could You?" And he said "But Heather, you asked Me to heal her and I did." All I can say is "I know, God, I know."

My mom kept from me for about a month that Vickie wasn't doing treatment anymore. I actually just found out this past Saturday. I literally cried all of Saturday night and all day Sunday. Sunday morning, I read this in my devotional Jesus Calling:

"When you trust Me in a given area, you release that problem or person into My care."

I felt such a deep pain after reading that line because I realized that trusting God can hurt like hell. I had to trust Him that He was going to heal Vickie, whether that meant freeing her of cancer physically or freeing her of cancer spiritually. I cried because it hurt so bad knowing that freeing her of cancer spiritually meant taking her from us. He took her Home the very next day, Monday September 13.

I have to confess that I denied her condition for a while. It felt safe being up here in Tennessee pretending that she was better than I knew deep down inside. I never wanted to see her weak. I wanted to pretend that she was the Aunt Vickie I've always known. After seeing my pawpaw as a stroke victim, I was scarred by having to face the way sickness takes a person's life while they're still alive. The last time I saw my Aunt Vickie was this past Easter when she stopped by my grandparents' house. I don't even think I told her goodbye. I couldn't. I was so selfish just so I wouldn't have to deal with reality. But if my mom would have told me sooner that she might not be here much longer, I would have gone.

I laid in bed last night thinking about her in Heaven. I visioned her on her knees before our Father while he held her face and said "Welcome Home, child." I could literally picture her sweet face filled with beauty and health, crying, looking the King in the eyes, thanking Him over and over again. I KNOW she is thankful to be Home. I KNOW she is rejoicing to feel no pain. I KNOW that Heaven is exactly where she is supposed to be right now.

Next to having a meaningful relationship with the Lord,
having a meaningful relationship with your spouse is life's biggest effort.
That's why people give up so easily.

This thought was going through my head yesterday morning after Hunter and I had a "discussion" ok, we had a tiff. Gasp!!!! I will say, though, that it was a rather healthy fight. I confronted him about something that hurt my feelings. I said my piece, he said his piece, I cried, we apologized and we overcame it. I'm not saying that we will never fight again about that very thing, because we will, but it just really made think "Man, marriage can be hard work sometimes."

It made me think about how many people don't think it's worth it to make a marriage work and how easily and quickly they call it quits. It made me think about couples who are currently struggling and think they know how to "fix" it, the only thing is, they can't see the future and the consequences that take place further down the road.

It also makes me so angry when couples KNOW they need counseling, but are either too prideful or choose to be ignorant and not get help. I don't know much about marriage, seeing as how I'm a rookie, but I do know that divorce and neglect of marriage doesn't just hurt the couple; it hurts everyone surrounded by that couple. EVERYONE. There is not a day that goes by that my heart doesn't feel deep aching pain since my sister and brother-in-law divorced almost two years ago. Do I think their marriage could have been salvaged? Hell yes. Every marriage can be salvaged, especially when you cry out for help from our Father who longs to fix our broken hearts.

I'm not going to dissect people's marriages and pretend like I know where everyone goes wrong, but I will say that I am very aware that marriage is an effort. And when you love someone, even if you feel like you have "fallen out of love", I can never imagine deciding that person is not worth fighting for, no matter how crappy the situation has gotten.

It doesn't take much to fall into pride in a marriage and begin to love conditionally. We think all has failed and everything seems hopeless. We become disgusted with each other, we grow to no longer know each other, we feel sorry for ourselves, we feel like there's something we're missing out on, we think we hold each other back, we lose our tolerance. We can never reason in our minds how he or she deserves to be given another chance or deserves to be forgiven or how the marriage deserves to remain. How about what our Father did for us? What if after all those thousands of years of the promise He made us, He just said "You know what? You people disgust me. I'm not saving you. You don't deserve My Son." After all, we are pretty disgusting with our actions and with our attitudes when it boils down to it. Give me one good reason why God shouldn't have turned his back on us- given up on us- divorced us as His people? But He saved us anyways, and yet we still fail and we still sin and we still do crap that never deserves to be forgiven. And He still loves us unconditionally.

God honors those who repent and those who make every effort to stay together. He honors the marriages that want to honor Him. It saddens me how many people take their marriage out of God's Hands and into their own hands. God never said we can save ourselves.