He tried calling me for the next few days and I didn't return his calls. I wasn't about to allow myself to be lead on any further. You don't do and say the things he said to me and then not expect me to want an answer as to what was going on between us.
I was working with my good friend when she saw his name pop up on my phone. She tried to shove the phone in my face to answer it, but I explained to her that I was ignoring him and had no intention of furthering our relationship. She told me there was a reason he was calling me so much and that I would never find out if I never called him back. So, I called him back. He sounded really excited when he answered the phone, but I made sure to be a little monotone, not so excited and short-answered. He asked me what I had been doing, I just told him I had been busy. He wanted to hang out that night. Busy. He said what about tomorrow night? Busy. He realized what was going on, so he said he really wanted to talk to me and for me to figure out when I could give him some time.
I called him back the next day and we made plans to hang out. I told him we would take my car. This wasn't a date, you know. So by me driving, I had the control of where we would go and when I could kick him out, haha. Welllll he didn't have any place in mind to go, all he knew was that he wanted to go somewhere where we could talk. Great. I chose Sonic so that I could give him minimal attention and stuff my face with a brownie fudge sundae. He was being weird when we first got there. I just knew he was going to bring up my question and clarify that he just wanted to be friends. But he sure was taking his time on getting to that point. So we were just sitting in my car talking about pointless things for the time being. At some point, I somehow brought up my freckles. He said "You have freckles????"
Ummm... what do you think these millions of dots are on my face?
"Yeah........"
"No way! Where?"
".......................... on my face."
"I can't see them! Show them to me."
Show them to you???!!!!??!!! What the.
I pulled down my mirror and checked myself out just to make sure it wasn't me that was stupid. I turned on the overhead light and sat up really high in my seat near the light.
"See? All the freckles on my face.......?"
He leaned in really close to my face, which forced me to be pinned up against my driver side window. He was smiling really big and looking into my eyes..... not at my freckles. I recognized this smile.......
"Ohhh yeah, you do have freckles...."
And he just stayed right there. Smiling. Staring. His nose almost touching my nose.
I just stared blankly back at him and finally said:
"Welp! That's enough."
Whoa, Heather. That was a little harsh/awkward way to handle this.
And he sat back down in his seat. Then he went on to say,
"The other night when I said I was attracted to you.... I'm sorry. I was just kind of caught off guard because I was going to tell you how I felt about you, but I guess I just wasn't ready in that moment. I really do have feelings for you- more than just attraction. But I'm leaving in late August to do mission work for a year and we won't see each other. I would like to keep in touch with you, though. I just don't want to start anything now since I'm leaving soon. But like I said, I want to keep in touch and then when I get back, we could see where we stand and maybe start dating? I'm sorry. I just really don't think I need to go overseas with a girlfriend so I can focus on doing the Lord's work, but I really hope we can make it work when I get back."
WHAT?????
I couldn't believe it. After hearing that, instantly all my bitterness melted away. I loved what I was hearing. I didn't mind that he didn't want to start a relationship now, but just having his confirmation was enough. About a week after that, he left for a few days to be a counselor at a camp for children who came from broken homes. I remember sitting in church and an announcement was made that the year-long mission trip (the one that 'so and so' was going on)
had been canceled due to conditions that were out of the church's control. My heart broke for him. I wasn't even sure if he knew of this news yet because he was away at camp, but I couldn't wait for him to get home so I could hug his neck and be there for him. The day that I knew he was coming home, I gave him a call just to see how he was doing. He didn't answer, but I figured he was probably still traveling and would return my call. Well, he never did. I gave him a few days to process the trip being canceled and called him again. He didn't answer. About two days later, I was eating out with my parents when he called. My eyes lit up and I excused myself and ran outside to answer. When I got back to the table, my mom was just as eager to hear what he had to say.
"Well??????? How is he? What did he say?"
"He just explained to me everything that I already knew about his trip getting canceled. He said he luckily got to enroll last minute for classes at Lipscomb, but that he would have rather been able to go to Belmont..... He told me how disappointed and sad he was about not being able to go overseas because that was a year of his life he had planned that changed in an instant. Then he just ended it by saying maybe he'll see me around....."
"Oh, Heather.... I'm so sorry."
I was sorry, too. I'd never, ever in my life put my heart out there before and just like that, it was crushed. A few weeks later, we were at a mutual friend's wedding and I knew he was going to be there. The only way to cope with being burned was to pretend like none of it had ever happened, and that meant when I was in his presence, to act like we were complete strangers. He questioned my sister about the fact that I wouldn't even look at him. Thankfully, she let him have it.
One night, I was coming home late after seeing a movie with my friend. As I was walking from my car to my front door, I saw a shooting star fly across the sky. Stupid freaking shooting stars. Why did I ever watch them with him? I just stood there for a minute, then hung my head and cried. The next morning, I walked downstairs and my mom took one look at me, grabbed me and pulled me tight into her arms. "It will be ok, Heather."
I remember how quickly he changed after all of that. I was his friend on myspace and noticed that he started dating a large-breasted, bleach blond bimbo. Most of his pictures made it obvious that he was drunk more than he was sober. It's ok, he never deserved a good girl like me.
I decided not to go back to UTC my sophomore year because my second nephew was born and I couldn't bare the thought of my nephews growing up not really knowing who their Aunt Heather was. Seems lame, I know, but I've always been big on family. And Mister Man (you know.... the one before the loser who broke my heart) enrolled in an out-of-state college. I enrolled in the community college close to where we lived. Let me tell you, community college is completely different from a university. Everyone still thinks they're in high school. So with that in mind, I was a part of that school as little as possible. I got there just in time for class to start, spoke to no one, and left as soon as the teacher said their last words for the day. Things went that way for both semesters that year. The only boy of interest was one that I met in my physical education class and I truly desired a friendship with him because that's how I saw him pursuing me. I was happy because he was the first guy I could call my close friend (you know me, I preferred not to be friends with guys) and his friendship meant a lot to me. Well, he brought me flowers on Valentine's day. I can't tell you how angry I was. We had to stop being friends, and that's not how I wanted things, but what else was I supposed to do... and Lord knows I had to hear that question again. What, are you just gonna marry the first guy you call your boyfriend?
I was working with my good friend when she saw his name pop up on my phone. She tried to shove the phone in my face to answer it, but I explained to her that I was ignoring him and had no intention of furthering our relationship. She told me there was a reason he was calling me so much and that I would never find out if I never called him back. So, I called him back. He sounded really excited when he answered the phone, but I made sure to be a little monotone, not so excited and short-answered. He asked me what I had been doing, I just told him I had been busy. He wanted to hang out that night. Busy. He said what about tomorrow night? Busy. He realized what was going on, so he said he really wanted to talk to me and for me to figure out when I could give him some time.
I called him back the next day and we made plans to hang out. I told him we would take my car. This wasn't a date, you know. So by me driving, I had the control of where we would go and when I could kick him out, haha. Welllll he didn't have any place in mind to go, all he knew was that he wanted to go somewhere where we could talk. Great. I chose Sonic so that I could give him minimal attention and stuff my face with a brownie fudge sundae. He was being weird when we first got there. I just knew he was going to bring up my question and clarify that he just wanted to be friends. But he sure was taking his time on getting to that point. So we were just sitting in my car talking about pointless things for the time being. At some point, I somehow brought up my freckles. He said "You have freckles????"
Ummm... what do you think these millions of dots are on my face?
"Yeah........"
"No way! Where?"
".......................... on my face."
"I can't see them! Show them to me."
Show them to you???!!!!??!!! What the.
I pulled down my mirror and checked myself out just to make sure it wasn't me that was stupid. I turned on the overhead light and sat up really high in my seat near the light.
"See? All the freckles on my face.......?"
He leaned in really close to my face, which forced me to be pinned up against my driver side window. He was smiling really big and looking into my eyes..... not at my freckles. I recognized this smile.......
"Ohhh yeah, you do have freckles...."
And he just stayed right there. Smiling. Staring. His nose almost touching my nose.
I just stared blankly back at him and finally said:
"Welp! That's enough."
Whoa, Heather. That was a little harsh/awkward way to handle this.
And he sat back down in his seat. Then he went on to say,
"The other night when I said I was attracted to you.... I'm sorry. I was just kind of caught off guard because I was going to tell you how I felt about you, but I guess I just wasn't ready in that moment. I really do have feelings for you- more than just attraction. But I'm leaving in late August to do mission work for a year and we won't see each other. I would like to keep in touch with you, though. I just don't want to start anything now since I'm leaving soon. But like I said, I want to keep in touch and then when I get back, we could see where we stand and maybe start dating? I'm sorry. I just really don't think I need to go overseas with a girlfriend so I can focus on doing the Lord's work, but I really hope we can make it work when I get back."
WHAT?????
I couldn't believe it. After hearing that, instantly all my bitterness melted away. I loved what I was hearing. I didn't mind that he didn't want to start a relationship now, but just having his confirmation was enough. About a week after that, he left for a few days to be a counselor at a camp for children who came from broken homes. I remember sitting in church and an announcement was made that the year-long mission trip (the one that 'so and so' was going on)
had been canceled due to conditions that were out of the church's control. My heart broke for him. I wasn't even sure if he knew of this news yet because he was away at camp, but I couldn't wait for him to get home so I could hug his neck and be there for him. The day that I knew he was coming home, I gave him a call just to see how he was doing. He didn't answer, but I figured he was probably still traveling and would return my call. Well, he never did. I gave him a few days to process the trip being canceled and called him again. He didn't answer. About two days later, I was eating out with my parents when he called. My eyes lit up and I excused myself and ran outside to answer. When I got back to the table, my mom was just as eager to hear what he had to say.
"Well??????? How is he? What did he say?"
"He just explained to me everything that I already knew about his trip getting canceled. He said he luckily got to enroll last minute for classes at Lipscomb, but that he would have rather been able to go to Belmont..... He told me how disappointed and sad he was about not being able to go overseas because that was a year of his life he had planned that changed in an instant. Then he just ended it by saying maybe he'll see me around....."
"Oh, Heather.... I'm so sorry."
I was sorry, too. I'd never, ever in my life put my heart out there before and just like that, it was crushed. A few weeks later, we were at a mutual friend's wedding and I knew he was going to be there. The only way to cope with being burned was to pretend like none of it had ever happened, and that meant when I was in his presence, to act like we were complete strangers. He questioned my sister about the fact that I wouldn't even look at him. Thankfully, she let him have it.
One night, I was coming home late after seeing a movie with my friend. As I was walking from my car to my front door, I saw a shooting star fly across the sky. Stupid freaking shooting stars. Why did I ever watch them with him? I just stood there for a minute, then hung my head and cried. The next morning, I walked downstairs and my mom took one look at me, grabbed me and pulled me tight into her arms. "It will be ok, Heather."
I remember how quickly he changed after all of that. I was his friend on myspace and noticed that he started dating a large-breasted, bleach blond bimbo. Most of his pictures made it obvious that he was drunk more than he was sober. It's ok, he never deserved a good girl like me.
I decided not to go back to UTC my sophomore year because my second nephew was born and I couldn't bare the thought of my nephews growing up not really knowing who their Aunt Heather was. Seems lame, I know, but I've always been big on family. And Mister Man (you know.... the one before the loser who broke my heart) enrolled in an out-of-state college. I enrolled in the community college close to where we lived. Let me tell you, community college is completely different from a university. Everyone still thinks they're in high school. So with that in mind, I was a part of that school as little as possible. I got there just in time for class to start, spoke to no one, and left as soon as the teacher said their last words for the day. Things went that way for both semesters that year. The only boy of interest was one that I met in my physical education class and I truly desired a friendship with him because that's how I saw him pursuing me. I was happy because he was the first guy I could call my close friend (you know me, I preferred not to be friends with guys) and his friendship meant a lot to me. Well, he brought me flowers on Valentine's day. I can't tell you how angry I was. We had to stop being friends, and that's not how I wanted things, but what else was I supposed to do... and Lord knows I had to hear that question again. What, are you just gonna marry the first guy you call your boyfriend?
So an entire year had gone by with 'that boy' being back in the states and I was still sitting there hoping I had a chance, making sure he knew I was still there.... waiting. Classes ended and that meant he was home for the summer. I reckoned I would pick up where I left off with him. I was about to turn 20 and still had yet to officially date someone, heck, even kiss someone. I had no idea what or who the Lord had in store for me, but I was on a mission to find out.
At the beginning of that summer, my best friend and I got an apartment together. I was talking to a friend at church one Sunday and told him we were living in Carrington Hills.
"No way!" he said. "That's where Hunter and Hayden Lamb moved to!"
Now there's a name I haven't heard in years...................... geez, why is my heart all of a sudden racing?
At the beginning of that summer, my best friend and I got an apartment together. I was talking to a friend at church one Sunday and told him we were living in Carrington Hills.
"No way!" he said. "That's where Hunter and Hayden Lamb moved to!"
Now there's a name I haven't heard in years...................... geez, why is my heart all of a sudden racing?
